The Incredible Adventure

[Canadian Jayne]

he eyed Jim Carrey with the pink hair and for a minute the lunatic thought he was looking in a mirror, Jim started to mime the lunatic hoping to stall him for a few minutes until the burley phsyco guards came back. It worked until the lunatic slapped Jim's face, toppling Jim to the floor.
The loonatic jumped over Jim and grabbed Brandi.
"I'm gonna hold yu for ransom, I gotta bust outta of this place"
Terrified, Brandi bit the loonie guy and he
let out a painful howl, the nut held her from behind she bent over and
kicked him in the @#&*, he released Brandi as he crumpled up in pain,
he cried "Why did you do that?" like on the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy
slapped the lions paw.
Suddenly......

[Canadian Jayne]

oops, sorry I forgot Jim jumped out the window
rewind
As Jim jumped out of the window he lost the pink wig, Earl picked it up
and tried it on just then the lunatic came into the room he eyed Earl with
the pink hair... (rest is the same)

[Canadian Jayne]

the burly guards burst into the room, the nut screamed, pleeaaaase
....don't let them take me, they aren't who they seem to be...I'm not crazy, "Sure that's what they all say" The taller, black haired burly guard shouted. "Hellllp me please, I'm Professer Remnovich from the University, I've been doing research on.."Shut up" the leaner guard barked while dragging the man out..
Earl thought "why would a guy in a suit be from the nuthouse?" maybe
this guy really was in trouble.. Earl decided to..

[Conor]

take a piss out the window and realized Jim Carrey was acting down there. they decided to put the footage of earl in the movie.

[lammy]

THE END...

[mav]

....of Jim's movie was reached and the unit packed up for the day and left.

After the guards left with the psyche professor, Earl turned to Brandi.
Earl : Why would a professor be crazy?
Brandi : Aren't all professor's crazy? Jumping out of a window isn't gonna prove any theory.
Earl : Maybe he was testing gravity.
Brandi : Here's my number. Call me when you get well.

With that she was gone. But Prof. Memnovich weighed heavily on Earl's mind.
-

[Canadian Jayne]

Earl had to find out about this guy, but where would he look.
Phone book sounded like a good place to start, Memnovich....
there was only about 50 of that name so Earl started to make the calls,
he tried many different ways to screen out the real one, finally Earl felt
like he just wanted to give up he had called 49 Memnovich's and still..
"Why bother" he thought, just then.....

[mav]

....his ribs started hurting and he gave up. There was a knock on the door and Earl opens it and comes face to face with Prof. Memnovich.
Earl instinctively grabbed the vacuum cleaner lying nearby and waves it at him.
Memnovich (stuttering) : Oh no, no. I assure you, I'm not a violent person. I'm sorry for hurting the lady before. But I really need your help. You are Mr Earl Pumpernickel ?
"Yes", Earl nodded, "What kind of help ?"
Memnovich : Could you let me stay in your house for a few days, while I can figure out what to do about the soup I'm in ?
Earl : What soup are you in ?
-

[Canadian Jayne]

"I have all the time you need" Earl replied "And I'll let you know about staying after I hear your store, how does that sound?.
The professeur nodded in agreement and started his long
woeful tale.
It seems the professeur was working on one of Einsteins very own experiments and research on gravity. The professeur had made an
incredible break through, he did not want to share it with Earl as it would put Earl in even more danger than he was right now just having the Professeur in his home.
As Earl listened to the Professeur he decided to share his own dilema,
they both concluded they may be able to help each other.
Earl would....

[mav]

In addition Prof. Nikolai Memnovich suspected his wife Natalie of wanting to lay her hands on the top-secret documents to sell it for money. He saw her talking to the two burly 'guards' who had come after him. But they couldn't lay their hands on it since Memnovich had concealed them in a secret location known only to him - the toilet tank. Now, before the two thugs returned again to tear the house down, he had to find a way out.

Earl agreed on one condition, that Memnovich would help him woo Brandi. Memnovich agreed. Just then, a brilliant idea struck Earl. He remembered Brandi hadn't been too excited to hear he had no relatives. He smiled as he looked at Memnovich, turning the pink hair to white in his mind. "Perfect", he said, as he ushered Memnovich to the guest room.
-

[Canadian Jayne]

Diligently, Earl assisted Prof. Memnovich into dying his hair white, Brandi
hadn't really seen the Prof's face, so hopefully this would work. The only thing is, though, Earl noticed Brandi had an uncanny sense of hearing and could identify voices before faces. At the hospital she had recognized a Doctor even before they had seen him, just by his voice. Brandi once worked as a Volunteer at the same hospital that they had been attended to. They developed Memnovich's new voice as Earl worked on changing the hair color.
"la voila" my new Dad, Earl announced.
I think I'll call you "Pop" the Prof. grimaced.
Memno was well versed in lanuages and hated slang, but he needed help.
They decided on a French accent, since Memno was well versed in this language. It was late, Earl looked at the eminantingly beautiful full moon, then at the room the Prof. was staying in and said to himself "how did I get into this mess?" "Then he exclaimed "I wish Brandi was here with me to share this beautiful moon" Earl sighed.

[Canadian Jayne]

As the dawn was beginning to break, all of a sudden Earl heard the loudest noise he had ever experienced in his life, his eye lids awoke startled and his hand rose to cover his head with the pillow. The Prof bellowed from the top of his lungs "Oh sola mio". He emerged from the bathroom with Earl's shaving equipment and shaving cream all over his face. "It would have been nice if you had asked to use it" as he motioned towards his gear " I'm a guest, I thought it came with our deal" relied the Prof" Hmf " Earl replied"Don't make any assumptions, dear professour " yes,sir" the Prof replied with a moking salute. " And don't you forget it" Earl laughed realizing the absurdity of his irritation. A screaming ambulance was coming down the street as he gazed out the window, it came closer and closer to his place, as it approached Earl realized it was the two guys in the white coats, someone had squeeled. I bet it was old Mr. Mahoney, he likes to watch everything going on around here.
Sure enough, the ambulance drivers jumped out and met Mr. Mahoney as he pointed to Earl's upper apartment. They had to get out of there sooner than he expected. "Let's go Professeur," "Where" as Earl grabbed him by the arm, shaving supplies and all. Earl was glad he had packed the emergency back packs, and had extra camping supplies in his Jimmy.
"Camping, Canadian Camping" that's where.

[mav]

The back of the house was one huge forest. Earl and Memno stumble out of the back-door and run towards the thicket, but alas, not in time. The hoodlums see them running away and give hot pursuit. But they are burly and heavy and soon falling with exhaustion and give up the chase. Earl and Memno, now out of danger, stop to rest.

Earl looks at Memno's half-shaven face, the perfectionist in him says "Could you just finish with that!" . Memno is perplexed and starts to say something, when out of the bushes jumps an ET like creature, stares at them and disappears into the bushes again. The scientist in Memno is excited. But Earl is freaked out - not only have the hoodlums ransacked his house, he is now stuck with a crazy half-shaven scientist in the middle of a jungle with eerie apparitions. Just then the clouds burst open and the rain starts to pour. "Oh no" Earl whispers through clenched teeth.
-

[Canadian Jayne]

It seemed like the rain just wouldn't let up, thankfully, it was a warm rain in the middle of August. The torrential rain made the two men look like beings from another planet but they kept on. Soon they arrived. Earl had parked the Jimmy at a friends house presupposing a possible early exit. Stealthfully they crept into the friends house, he was on vacation. "do we stay here the night or go" Heads we stay, tails, we head for Canada"Earl tossed the coin high in the air sadly it landed in the tree tops and Earl had to climb up to see the verdict.
"Oh Canada, were on our way today" Ear sang, he almost bellowed, but realized he best not make too much noise.
Hurridly they packed the packs and headed for Ohio, which is just across the lake to Canada. It was a good thing Earl had a good friend who lived in Canada, he was an old fisherman.

[Canadian Jayne]

Earl had emailed his fisherman buddy and met them in Ohio, they travelled across the lake and ended up in Toronto, luckily they were just in time to see the Stones concert, so Earl and the Prof went incognito and had a fantastic time, it was well within their budget. While they were there they decided to check out the night life, they walked into one of the clubs when who did they see but......