Moms

[xmassmurdere]

cheer up cotton,you are not the only one with an impossible mom
with my mom, i might as well talk to a chinese porcelain flower vase cuz NOTHING gets through to my mom

[fluffy]

och folks.............you only get 1 mum............yes they have their flaws too.........the problem is, when you are little, Mummy is on a pedestal.....then as you get older and more independent you see the flaws and feel betrayed by them..............
Mums still think of their kids as kids who need to be looked after.........even when the kids drawing their own pension.............
But what's the harm letting your mum potter about tidying if it makes her feel useful and needed............that's what she misses........feeling needed.......
i let my mum potter away..........cause it makes her happy.........and if she gives me some 'good advice'............or comments on something i just smile and listen intently then agree with everything.....lol....(in other words switch off completely)........lol..........like 'water off a ducks back'........lol
to the kids having problems..........you're trying to assert independence....and your mum is still trying to be the mum.......it's give and take.............compromise............and when you leave home you'll be greatful you didn't do the dissaffected kid thing......lol.....
it's Soooooo 1980's...........

fluffy

[cotton]

But what's the harm letting your mum potter about tidying

Are you trying to say I should let my Mom clean my daughters playroom? Letting my Mom clean it would be hell because all she would do is yell while she was cleaning even if I help.

The thing with my mom tho is if you listen to her but still don't do things the way she wants it done she will yell at you till you do it her way. She is a bit controlling. You just can't sit back and listen to her it does not work and I am not about to let my Mom take control of my life any more then what she already does.

The sad thing is my daughter hugged me the other day and told me she felt bad for me when I asked her why she said"Cause your mom hates you"

[thecablegal]

It's disgusting that your Mom is allowing your daughter to see this. Kids pick up on things so quickly, and their opinions are matter-of-fact. Your daughter should say these things to YOUR Mom to see if she reacts in any way.

[cotton]

Ya know I was going to tell my mom to have a talk with my daughter but I can't cause I am afraid she will tell my daughter it is all my fault that she yells cause she did that before.

[Clemmy]

I agree with Fluffy... moms need to feel useful... everybody needs to feel useful! I do not know how this can be approached, but, she should focus her energy on helping other people, doing volunteer work, assisting homeless people... it seems that she needs to become aware of what she has at her side: her family, you and your daugther.

Also, some boundaries must be made clear in your relationship with your mom. She may have the key to your house, but she cannot invade your home and your privacy whenever she wants... even though she owns the house...Ok, it is easier to say... There is a book called "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" by Dr. Northrup that might be a good reading for you and your mom... I haven't read the book, but watched the special on it at PBS.

[cotton]

Thanks I will look for that book