Moms

[cotton]

Do all moms bitch and complain all the time or is mine the only one? my mom gets upset over stupid things. She also gets mad cause I like to dress casual but she wants me dressing up all the time and she is always making comments about my wieght or giving me dirty looks when I eat even tho I have lost over 60 pounds.

She is constantly calling me lazy and she just let herself into my house and when I started coming down the stairs she started bitching about my tablecloth hanging to low on one side. I decided to go back up the stairs and hide until she leaves.lol

[Filomena]

She's not happy.

Whenever people bitch and complain, they're taking our their frustration on you.

And if you're the type that doesn't bitch back, you're going to keep all this pent-up emotion inside.

Do what I do whenever someone is rude. This is really hard, but try it once and see what happen. The next time she starts to nag, either:

1) crack a joke and/or use self-depracating humour, or

2) ask her what's really bugging her.

Sometimes, people will find it hard to be bitchy if you show them that their comments don't bother you. And if you're super nice, she'll get no satisfaction from it either.

It's worth a shot. Don't forget, the meanest, nastiest people are the unhappiest people.

Good luck!

[thecablegal]

That sucks Cotton!

My Mum isn't like that, so I'm not much help, but I agree with Filomena, it sounds like something is bothering her, because I bitch when something is bothering me.

Ask her what's up!

Good Luck!

[mav]

My mom nag's only sometimes. I can't stand even that! But she's sweet otherwise, so I just pretend to listen(I'm not good at talking back). But then I get very quiet and she 'gets it' :lol

Yeah, it is unhappiness from other pent-up things that spills onto us. My current mission is to acquire a sense of humor about it ..grrr.. very difficult.

I would do the same if I were you cotton :lol
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[cotton]

My mom has never been happy. But the thing is that I can't sit and talk to her cause she will start fighting with me. she always tends to take out her frustration on me. I had to call my Dad and tell him to come get her out of here cause she is making my daughter upset. My Mom owns my house so she keeps saying she is going to throw us out cause she looked at the spot were we keep our sneakers and found some dirt. She is also pissed because my daughter made a mess in her playroom.

[Filomena]

Does she mean it when she says she's going to kick you out?

If you tell her that you're going to move out bc you can't take the fighting and constant bickering, will she be happy or upset?

[thecablegal]

Kids make a mess.... what is her problem?

That is so mean of her to threaten to chuck you out. What kind of a parent does that to her daughter.... AND her grandchild???

I'm not surprised you are pissed at her. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to

[cotton]

Can you believe she is going through all my daughters toys in her playroom because she said my daughter has too many toys and she is pissed cause they need to be gone thro. I admit that my bedroom and my daughters playroom are not the cleanest rooms but the rest of my house is and she yelled out the window to my dad that my house has not been cleaned in a year My dad keeps telling her to leave and she did just now finally. But she may be back tommorrow so she can make sure that my daughters toys are gone thru. I hope my Dad tells her no.

[cotton]

Does she mean it when she says she's going to kick you out?

She threatens me like that all the time. I am used to it but it makes my daughter upset cause she is only 7 and my mom says it right in front of her.

[Filomena]

Then why don't you tell her that you REALLY are going to move out, to see what her reaction is. (But don't do this in front of your daughter.)

You have to find out what's eating her, or you'll never have any peace.

Maybe if you let her know you're not going to take her BS anymore, and you're really going to move out, she might ease up and stop.

You need to be firm with her and let her know you're not going to be pushed around anymore. Even if you can't afford it and don't want to move out, you can tell her you're going to move into some sort of subsidized gov't housing.

If she thinks you're serious, and if you tell her it's bc of the way she treats you, she might stop.

it's worth a shot.

[xmassmurdere]

my mom bitches like everyday and sometimes i get so frustrated that i yell back and storm into my room she also naggs a LOT which annoys me

ur not alone cotton my mom sometimes insults me and my brother in front of guest and i stare a cold death look at her but she doesnt get the point

and she tells all me and my bro's secrets to our aunts and uncles that we dont like

she gets mad when i sleep in the afternoon cuz im really tired and its summer and there isnt anything to do but she still gets really mad

whenever im on the computer, she gets mad and says that i am wasting my time because i am not studying. when i listen to music she thinks it is distracting and when i read novels she thinks i am wasting time i cant watch tv/movies etc.. and i cant play games but she is not home most of the day so i just take advantage of when she is not here but she knows that is do stuff behind her back. not that i care

[cotton]

Actually I know exactly what is bothering her but it has absolutely nothing to do with me but she is taking it all out on me anyway. Just like always. I could try telling her I am moving out but I know exactly what she would say"Oh Yeah???? And where are you going to go with no money????"I don't know if she will fall for that government housing thing cause we did try to move into something like that before but it did not work out.

One of the reasons I am married now is cause my Mom wanted me out of the house. I was living at home with my parents then. That was a long time ago. Now I am stuck in a miserable marriage.

the more I try to stand up to her the worse things get.

[mav]

I feel bad for you right now....I hate it when people create such a lot of insecurity, for whatever reason.
I hope she is not violent. Could you go with the flow on this one? Wear ear plugs or something... or go out and sit in the car. *sigh* I really don't have any good suggestions.

[cotton]

No she never hits or anything. She just yells all the time.

xmassmurdere your mom sounds like mine. My mom hates it if she finds out I am using my comp and she will often often accuse me of using it even if I tell her I wasn't. Same thing with naps. I don't take naps often but she will get mad and accuse me of taking them. I noticed I do that to when my husband naps I tell him to wake up. Probably cause my mom does that to my Dad all the time and I picked it up I guess

[Filomena]

You need to talk to someone about this and come up with a plan. Either through social services or community services (do they have that where you're from? they have that in Canada) or someone who can sit with you and help you figure it out.

Take it step by step, one problem at a time.

And just because that gov't housing thing didn't work before, doesn't mean it's not going to work again.

Cotton, you have to really focus on this and talk to a real LIVE person now (not that we're dead people here on the JCO forum, but you know what I mean).

Life is too short to be miserable the rest of your life.