I'm back. I was in the hospital.

[Clemmy]

Hi Quirky,

I am glad you survived, girl! Your life is precious... you are precious! I feel for you, for what you are going through... I hope you get back on track quickly... with a positive attitude towards life... that's actually how I perceive you: a positive, caring person, who is going through a difficult time... and who will get over it!

God bless you!

Clemmy

[thecablegal]

I never have depression.

And you are a strange person.
Millions of people suffer from depression and have suicidal thoughts at one time or another.

[lammy]

Yeah depression SUCKS!!!

[xmassmurdere]

its kinda wierd cuz i know some people in depression that eat their body weight and some barely eat at all

depression kills the fun in life

[Alyonushka]

Oh God...
I really didn't know, sorry Quirky! If I only knew! I could to do something to help you.. in some way. Sorry Quirk, I want you so much to be OK now, want your depression stoped. I didn't know about this stuff in your life, as Russian say in English, shit happens.
It took some time for me to read all this in the topic, and know what, mostly what people wrote here is true and it'll help you. Lots of guys ere are your friends, I wish I were your friend too, and we all will help you to overcome it.
Of course sometimes problems seem so hopeless that you don't know ow to behave and what to do. You're becoming so desperate that you're loosing your mind and you really don't understand what you're doing. I would like you to find out a solution from your problem. Whenever you want I'm here to help you.

[quirky]

How did I try? I watched "The Majestic" and then swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They worked. I slept for two days. Then I woke up.

I was going to return to my hometown and see my grandma Grace today, but I've decided I'm just not strong enough yet. My cousin and his girlfriend are both paramedics and they have been great. Yesterday we went to Madison Wisconsin to roam around. In Madison Wisconsin, the Majestic theatre is showing XXXX movies. That made me giggle.

[quirky]

oh, quirky, this is anger-making. Yes, I suppose you only have you now. Be at your cousin's, you may take more time to get over this than others because you love sincerely and it hurts more deeply. You are disconsolate and angry, it's sheer injustice...a homeless shelter...i cannot believe it! Instead of a shoulder and a hug, you get a stone wall. Life can be cruel.
You are medically stable .... but now emotionally wrecked.
Let it heal. I'll pray for love and peace. Hugs,
-mav
_

Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I'm alternating between terror and pain and the prozac really isn't touching it. I pm'd you my phone number....feel free to call. It might be good for me to talk to someone because I'm a tad isolated right now.

[Janel]

I'm glad your cousin and his girlfriend have been there for you. I wish there were something I could do to help. Been praying for you....

[quirky]

I had the loveliest conversation with Mav on the phone last night. It kind of helped.

[Jimenem]

I'm sry, I'm late as usual, I was at camp so I didn't even know about this situation untill today. Everything seems to have already been said about your deppression. So there's really nothing to add there. But if you want to talk about your nightmares. . . been there done that, I might be able to give you a few pointers on how to handle them, Or what works for me anyway. I used to have terrifying nightmares EVER SINGLE NIGHT, some werent so bad, and in hindsight where kind of silly, but the ones that involved KNOWING that if I opened my eyes Satan would be staring back, those where the ones that i had a real problem with. They all went away at the beginnig of April and stayed away until about a week ago. I've got a pretty good idea of what brought them back, but this isn't about me it's about you, Quirky, I probably won't be able to help with your depression, but I might be able to help you with your dreams. PM me if you want to talk.

I will be praying, and God will be helping, Just have faith!

[quirky]

You had the satanic nightmares, too? And they're BACK????

I'm sooooooooooo sorry. For me, the ECT's stopped the nightmares. And that was ONE thing at least I was really happy about because I've never been so scared in all my life as I was when I was living those nightmares.

[Filomena]

I never had those dreams, but I used to be super afraid of the devil, and demons, and evils spirits. Until I started to explore spirituality, and commenced talking to God in my strange, unusual way. Starting to ask questions about things, and I got answers that were making sense.

I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but this is what helped me get over my fears of the supernatural.

So here I go (gulp)

There's no such thing as evil. Only sickness of the human mind. So when crazy people die, they're just like us. No evil spirits.

There's also no such thing as the Devil. No such thing as Hell. Those are just stories that were meant to teach us things about pain and suffering. But then organized religion came about, and well, you know the rest.

Sure, this sounds over-simplified and trite. But it worked for me. I am no longer afraid of any of that stuff.

Whenever we dream about things repeatedly, it means something. As for bad dreams, they're manifestations of things that are buried deep within our sub-conscious. And we cannot figure it out, so it plagues us when we sleep.

Sorry for preaching. But I'm glad people are offering their support and trying to help you out, Quirky. If nothing else, then maybe that can help you in some way.

[quirky]

There's also no such thing as the Devil. No such thing as Hell.

You know. That's what I used to believe. I don't believe that anymore.

[Filomena]

But does it make sense?

Stop and ask yourself, who is the Devil exactly? A fallen angel? Why would an angel want revenge on God, and cause havoc on human kind? Angels are messangers, nothing else.

Look at the world around you. Everything has to make sense. The stars, the earth, biology, pap smears. God created that.

It's when things don't make sense, that we need a scapegoat. Hence the Devil. How else can we explain trauma? Murder? Domestic Violence? Terrorism? Wrestlemania?

God forbid we blame mankind for that (no pun intended). But it's free will that's to blame. And God can't intervene with that, because then we'd all look like we stepped out of that movie, The Stepford Wives.

The Devil equals fear. Focus on your fears, and you'll get rid of the Devil.

[Jimenem]

Well, everyone has the freedom to believe what they want, and believing that, may have helped you. But that doesn't make it true. If you do not believe the devil is real then It is impossible for you to truly believe God exists, and thats the set-up for a very unsatifying and lonely life. And answer me this, if God doesn't exist. then how do you explain, Animals, Humans, Tree's, Planets, Universes, galaxies, stars????? You said it yourself. "God created that" think about it, It is Impossible for God not to exist. And If God exists the devil Exists and will do anything to make you question whether He or God exists, It always starts with a question, and then it snowballs into atheism, and atheists are some of the most pathetic people I've ever met. They live for no pourpose, then they die, How sad.