Jim Carrey Online
You are here: HomeBoard index General Discussion Off Topic

Could it be avoided. . .You might be a redneck if. . .

Here is where you discuss everything under the sun, just keep it clean.

Could it be avoided. . .You might be a redneck if. . .

Postby Jimenem » Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:18 am

The term red-neck is an adjective that means nothing more or less than a blissfull absence of sophistication. . .no matter where you go, you see red-necks everywhere! And truth be told most of us are guilty of a few red-neck things! Whether, you just look like one, or behave like one. . .

I'll get it started. . . Jeff Foxworthy's Red-neck jokes are welcome here. :wink:


You Might Be a redneck if. . . Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.

If your porch collapses and it kills more than three dogs.

If you go to family reunions, to meet women.

if you clean out your ears with your car keys.

if you or a relative run out of the bathroom and yell to the whole house "Hey Yall come look at this before I flush it."

if your richest relative just bought a new home and you have to help take the wheels off it.
User avatar
Jimenem
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 4337
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm
Location: Lost in the dark receses of my own imagination.

Postby kasper » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:42 am

...And I am laughing SO hard!!! :lol:
What makes you weak is what makes me stronger.
User avatar
kasper
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 9:44 pm
Location: Kansas, Oklahoma

Postby quirky » Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:45 pm

You take a can of beer to a job interview.

The officer asks you for ID and you give him your belt buckle.
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
User avatar
quirky
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 8733
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 11:10 pm
Location: first a coupla gametes then a zygote

Postby Jimenem » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:21 pm

If you have to take a broken engine out of a bathtub, before you can bathe.

If you mow your grass and find a car.

If your idea of fast food is a bunny rabbit.
User avatar
Jimenem
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 4337
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm
Location: Lost in the dark receses of my own imagination.

Postby Jimenem » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:24 pm

If you can burp and say your name at the same time.

If your idea of a good time includes two dogs and a piece of raw meat.

if you brag to women about having your appendix removed.
User avatar
Jimenem
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 4337
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm
Location: Lost in the dark receses of my own imagination.

Postby cotton » Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:15 pm

If you have more then 1 broken down automobiles in your yard
Image
www.youtube.com/user/jimcarreyonline
User avatar
cotton
JCO Staff
 
Posts: 12304
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2003 10:54 pm
Location: JCO Forum

Postby Clemmy » Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:50 pm

If you pick your teeth in places other than your own bathroom.
User avatar
Clemmy
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 1741
Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 2:12 am
Location: Wherever my imagination takes me

Postby Jimenem » Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:54 pm

If the term Hodown, brings back memories of your sister tripping over her shoelace.
User avatar
Jimenem
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 4337
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm
Location: Lost in the dark receses of my own imagination.

Postby kasper » Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:26 pm

if you have to wear shoes and have a flashlight to go to the bathroom.
What makes you weak is what makes me stronger.
User avatar
kasper
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 9:44 pm
Location: Kansas, Oklahoma

Postby justfacts » Tue Nov 29, 2005 1:04 am

If all your "Tupperware" says Cool Whip on the side
User avatar
justfacts
Dumb & Dumber
 
Posts: 214
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:30 am

Postby kasper » Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:41 am

If you and your dog use the same tree.

If you go to the garbage dump to find furniture.
What makes you weak is what makes me stronger.
User avatar
kasper
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 9:44 pm
Location: Kansas, Oklahoma

Postby carreyd away » Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:25 am

You go to family weddings to pick up women.

Your girlfriend's hair is so high it gets caught up in the ceiling fan.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.

Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
User avatar
carreyd away
A Christmas Carol
 
Posts: 1094
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2003 12:01 am

Postby Jimenem » Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:44 pm

IF your cousin thinks his son will be the next Einstein just because he stands in the back yard and shouts "Airpane! Airpane!" and you think
"Well, hell he's 14 years old!"

If you dad walk you to school everyday because your in the same grade.

If you refer to the 6th grade as "my senior year."
User avatar
Jimenem
Dumb and Dumber To
 
Posts: 4337
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:43 pm
Location: Lost in the dark receses of my own imagination.

Postby justfacts » Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:56 am

when these are your wedding pictures
Image
User avatar
justfacts
Dumb & Dumber
 
Posts: 214
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:30 am

Postby fluffy » Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:58 am

awe bless....................they had mini rolls.................lol

fluffy :wink:
Fluffy
User avatar
fluffy
JCO Staff
 
Posts: 20742
Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2005 3:03 pm
Location: Scotland

Next

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests